So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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