You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
