dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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