and she was petting her beer can
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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