anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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