Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
tell me about the eggs
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