Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
