i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
