Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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