yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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