So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
