Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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