so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
