And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
