How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
