So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
