dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
