problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize