I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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