Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
