the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
