what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
