if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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