you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You are a genius and a whore.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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