Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize