thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
