Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
