On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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