So gin and wine won't be happening again
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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