We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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