On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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