8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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