remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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