I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize