No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
