just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My penis needs a shock collar
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
