Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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