Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
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My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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