A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
