Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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