Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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