What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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