Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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