i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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