Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
