Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
