Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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