i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
