there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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