Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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