I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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