I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
