just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
