I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
