Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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