so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
